Valentines Shenanigans

So Monday my wife and I went to Macy’s to get the kids some new clothes since apparently they grow like magical bean stalks. As we ‘accidentally’ pass by the purse section I see her scouting about like a ninja, trying on this big silver sparkly purse.  When she goes up to pay for it she realizes she had spent all the money we had on us at the children store. So she asks them to hold it until tomorrow and she’d come back and get it. Which relieved me at first because I instantly thought the last thing she needs right now is another purse. Then it gave me an idea, I have been struggling for a while thinking of what to get her, she’s so hard to buy for. So the thought crossed my mind,

I bet I can sneak out while she sleeps in the morning and buy it for her Valentines Day present.If she tries to go buy it later, I’ll complain about money and how ugly it was until she decides it better just to give up and gain interest in something else.

Well… My first mistake was approaching this with a man’s frame of mind. I failed to realize the incessant determination of my lovely wife. After waking up and having my morning cup of coffee I then proceeded to Macy’s and bought the lovely big silver sparkly purse, I tried to follow the plan. As soon as she woke up she started talking about going and getting it. Right away I knew I had my work cut out for me. Eventually she got clever and just stopped telling me she was going to go get it. Later on we had to run out to take care of some errands. During this tedious little process she catches me not paying attention and sneaks over to the mall.As soon as I come to I realize we’re sitting outside of Macy’s.

Panic begins to ensue as she walks up to the counter that she had previously asked the employee to hold the purse. I see the lady looking around frantically trying to find this purse I had bought earlier that morning. I started to feel bad for the lady searching, thinking maybe I should just give up and tell my wife already. So I inquire a little, what exactly would you do if they accidentally sold it to someone else? My mouth dropped open as she looked back at me and said, Just buy the other one!

I hadn’t thought that far into it I suppose, and by this point the sales clerk had recruited another sales clerk to assist in the search of this elusive sparkly purse.  I felt absolutely horrible, here I had these two poor ladies running rampant thinking that this purse had somehow vanished without a trace. My wife was now freaking out, nearing the point when curse words might be used. Sure as she could be that one of the other sales clerks had jacked her purse before she could come back to reclaim it. I couldn’t take it anymore,

I finally gave in and proceeded to tell her where this handbag disappeared to. Emily, you have to ruin every surprise. This was during her ranting spell, when she realized what I had just told her she said Huh? So I continued, every time I try to surprise you, you ruin it! I bought this purse for you this morning. This for some reason made her cry. You did what? When? When I was sleeping?
I couldn’t help but chuckle, uh, yea? So she got her present a little early, and I got to be made a fool. It was a funny and weird day, but I wouldn’t have changed a minute of it.